what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
