my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
