Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she peed on how many people?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
