They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
