Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
