Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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