He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
