If i could tip my vagina, i would.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
