I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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