Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
