Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
