and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
