Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
