i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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