Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
