I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
