Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
