I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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