First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you have feelings for this penis?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize