Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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