Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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