i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
