You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
