Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
