And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
