you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
