Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
