I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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