Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
