She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
