We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
