Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
