I've blown a few things in my day
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize