well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize