No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
