Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
