Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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