The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
