also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize