I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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