ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
