guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
