i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
