can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she smelled like a LAN party
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
