that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
