dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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