Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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