Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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