I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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