What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Holy shit dude........stairs
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