I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
