yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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