...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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