Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
