dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just gargled with NyQuil
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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