don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
